My Value Proposition is “1 Shot 1 Kill” in Hiring the Top 1% Talent


A lot of people in the world, regardless of culture or ethnic race may agree that “Women” are a lot harder to understand than “Men”. The majority may say both are likely hard to fully comprehend, but if you were forced to choose one, which gender is harder? I hypothesise that more people will say “Women” than “Men”

Do you agree?

I think there is some merits to this statement that even Women themselves agree with this statement.


Because women are driven by emotions (or some call it hormones). Not all the time, but to a substantial degree that makes this statement more right than wrong.

Headhunting versus Courtship
“Women are much harder to comprehend than Men” – Andrew Chai

For 15 years of my first business, I personally interviewed 80,000 female candidates (we didn’t include the other tens of thousands of males applicants) for jobs with airlines and hotels. I worked with them from pre-screening to final interviews and operational jobs during their tenure from as short as 2 years to 8 years employment with me and my clients.

During this period, I learnt about them, how they think, feel and most importantly how their personal and private relationships at home also impact their performance at work.

Assessing women accurately makes it much much easier to assess men.


Over time, I started seeing the similarities between Headhunting and Courtship and this newsletter explain why this is important.


Most candidates will tell you that being Headhunted is always better. Some companies will say the same especially if they are going for that coveted candidate who is not in the market actively looking for the next opportune career move.


Headhunting always costs more. Both in terms of fees paid to headhunters and also time for in-depth interviews and assessments for attitude, cultural, chemistry, skills to determine leadership and hiring fit.


We use the concept of Courtship.

First, how is Courtship similar to Headhunting?!?!

Headhunting is when a headhunter goes after someone who is deemed to be a suitable candidate.

Courtship is when a guy or a girl goes after someone who is deemed to be a suitable partner.

The basic principle is the SAME!


Let’s spend some time to discuss in greater depth about Courtship.

Conventional wisdom (or rather Belief or Societal Norm) in courtship is that Boys should go after Girls.

Herein lies the problem!

From First Principle (Google what First Principle means)

Boys generally fall in love with their Eyes.

Girls generally fall in love with their Ears.

If a boy court after a girl, he has fallen in love with his EYES FIRST and using words (and subsequent actions) whisper or croon sweet nothings/words to the girls, allowing them over time to fall in love with their EARS. This is why so many relationships (almost 50% in some cultures) fail eventually after marriage because the process is wrong or at least not working that well.

However, now consider if the process was totally reversed:

Girls use their Eyes to determine if they should court after the boy. Girls think and feel with their Hearts and their Eyes reflect their innate sixth sense about the CHARACTER of the boy, which is the foundation of all healthy working relationships. In so doing, the boy eventually falls in love with his Ears instead (thats why wise old people say a good husband listens to his wife).

This process ensures that CHARACTER (We call this VALUES) is the first thing to be assessed first and the foundation of a good matching relationship. And not that boys do not understand this at all but girls do a much better job intuitively (with their sixth sense) than boys naturally do.

When this process is correct, the courtship has a much higher chance of success in the longer term.

I know this because I learnt from an American Relationship Guru, named David Deida for 8 years and applied the concept in my current relationship/marriage after my first marriage failure that cost me dearly. My wife will attest that she is the one who court after me.😍

Headhunting versus Courtship

My Wife will attest that SHE was the one who courted me.


When Headhunters or Interviewers go looking or assessing suitable candidates, they are really the Boys going after the Girls. Herein lies the potential pitfalls again.

They may focus on (mostly the wrong order of focus, not the wrong aspects) :

  1. Experience
  2. Skills
  3. Education
  4. Personality
  5. Attitude & Values etc. etc. (this No. 5 should become No. 1)

But this comes as a hefty price tag yet using the wrong order of priority of assessment. Typically headhunters charge about 18% – 25% of the candidate’s annual income package and the order of priority is no difference than a Boy going after a Girl based on her “resume” – we called it “Appearance”, using his Eyes.


What if we showed you a way to make the Candidate HeadHunt for you like Courtship driven by a Girl – i.e. the Correct Process.

If we turned the table around and allow the candidate to apply for your job like a boy would typically go after the girl i.e. focus on Appearance (called Employer Branding). After all you are the company and the eventual paymaster (boy), which is the traditional role of men in a relationship. But most candidates do not see this aspect. They instinctively behave like the Boys when they see a promising “Boyfriend” like Google, Amazon, Microsoft, Netflix and the likes of.

So naturally when the candidates (Girl) go after the Company (Boy), they got the process correct without even realising it.

We have now allowed the process to take a natural different turn to become the right order:

  1. Candidate (the Girl) discern if they want to work for you as an Employer of Choice (the Boy). This is the cheapest and most cost effective way to “headhunt” the right candidates for the company. The Candidate behaves initially like the Boy here in the early stage of the job application but in reality take on the Behaviour of a Girl, assessing the character, culture and chemistry of the company they aspire to work for.
  2. Candidate then fight to put themselves in front of you by responding to what you require them to demonstrate why they deserve to be considered (Still like a “Boy” in a typical courtship). This is where we assess the candidate based upon values & attitude which is the foundation of a long term working relationship (We turn the table around and behave like a Girl, assessing key character and values, this is where if headhunters behave like a Boy will result in this process being plagued with human bias). We have a series of assessments philosophy outlined here to keep the process consistent and unbiased : https://www.linkedin.com/newsletters/interviewer-playbook-7019707147781300225
  3. Step 2 above mimic the same process as a Girl going after a Boy. Meaning we assess the Character, Values and Attitude of the Boy FIRST, not the appearance (Resume and “Looks”) which can be a false front and lead to human bias.
  4. Allow the Candidate to continue to “fight” to be in this [Work] Relationship on an ongoing basis with Gamification for Employee Engagement. Isn’t life in a personal relationship boring if there are no surprises and no adventure in the courtship? We use gamifications to ensure no surveys are ever used to gauge how engaged an employee is at work to avoid human bias and retain key talents. Using games, quests and competition keep this employee relationship engaged, like using games, entertainment and excitement in any relationships to keep the sparks going.
  5. If Step 1 – 4 are done properly, the entire process is self sustaining and self serving. That is, there is less and less unhappy staff and uncontrolled attrition, leading to longer term retention and stability in the workforce. This methodology of focusing on being the Girl throughout the entire recruitment, hiring and onboarding process, ensures the entire foundation of the work relationship is grounded in Character, Values and the Correct Beliefs System needed for the relationship to work well.

In conclusion, what we are saying is this:

Headhunting versus Courtship

If we direct the recruitment process always as the Girl, focusing on the MOST IMPORTANT ASPECT FIRST: VALUES, ATTITUDE & CHARACTER; we will always get it RIGHT!

After all, Attitude and Character is EVERYTHING!

And that’s how Executive Decisions are made with the right process and correct data.


Disclaimer: I am not implying that all headhunters out there do not assess character, values and attitude. I am sure the very good ones (and expensive ones) know what they are doing (especially for senior management position, you’ll need good headhunters). But hey, nobody is going to use a headhunter for the majority 80% of the workforce, which are frontliners and blue collar workers. This is where we come in. We assess the values, character and attitudes of frontliners workers.

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